This is the story of Mavis Upton, mother, daughter, friend to many, and of course, as the title suggests, police officer. And what a jolly, sometimes sensitive, but for the most part, politically incorrect, hilarious rollercoaster ride of a read it is.

The story begins in 2008 and opens with main protagonist, Mavis, in hot pursuit of burglar Billy ‘The Mog’ Benson, so called because of his renowned catlike agility. Having followed him up onto the somewhat decrepit rooftop of the local scrapyard, Mavis finds herself perilously swinging from a rusty old girder after the roof has given way. Dangling from the rafters with nothing between her and the jagged scrapheap of metal 35 feet below, the breeze whistling through her combat pants making her wish she’d worn thermal knickers instead of a polyester thong, and her life hanging in the balance, Mavis introduces herself.

“I am Mavis Upton. Constable 1261 Mavis Upton to be precise. Ace police driver and apprehender of naughty people; lover of crisps (any flavour); hater of big knickers, which if I survive this I’ll tell you about later; daughter to Mrs Josie Upton, sister to Connie and Michael and Mum to a rather headstrong young lady called Ella…”

Surviving her somewhat precarious predicament, Mavis then takes us back in time – to 1988 to be exact, where it all begins. Mavis, a thirty-something single mother of young daughter Ella, has an epiphany and decides to follow a lifelong ambition to join the police. Narrated in the first person throughout, the reader is then taken on a riveting, laugh out loud journey of the highs and lows of constable Mavis Upton, from basic training, to rookie, and eventually to somewhat older and wiser veteran.

Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong is a light-hearted, easy to read comedy about life. There are some sad, very poignant moments weaved among the high jinks and hilarity, which the author writes with great pathos and sensitivity (I dare anyone not to be moved by the scene that awaits Mavis after a desperate call from a 5 year old, or indeed the ending of the book), but on the whole this is a humorous observation of this thing called life and the many characters that shape it. Mavis comes across as a very real, very warm, if somewhat accident-prone individual; her courage and kindness often reflected in the deeds and actions of those closest to her. I loved the endearing, maternal devotion between Mavis and her daughter, and Mavis and her mother, which simply oozed mother-daughter love, and although some of the jokes and one-liners of her biscuit dunking male work colleagues might raise a few eyebrows these days, it very much reflects the humour of the era the book is set in. A jolly, feel-good read and one I highly recommend.

 

Publisher: Urbane Publications Limited (18 May 2017)

Print Length: 320 pages

Available to purchase from Amazon